To my dear Body
We have been on a long and windy road together these past 50 years, we have had some good times and bad, some high adventures and low abysses. You have allowed me to go places physically and spiritually that others only dream about.
When we were young, I never doubted you or gave you a second thought - perhaps even took you for granted.. Physically, you were able to do anything (any sport, new task or activity?) You moved with the rhythm of life, following the delights of my mind willingly. I may even have abused your ability to bounce back after a big night, a long ride or trail run), you stayed the same throughout the years - even now after 4 child births, physical and emotional challenges, you not only weigh the same, but can still carry me over mountains, across rivers, through extreme cold, and constant physical adventures that life keeps throwing at us.
After you were so damaged by surgical shock, drug treatment, emotional despair, I thought I would never get you back. For a long time, you were not the warrior you once were, Going under the knife to transform the body I took for granted was the turning point in acceptance of the way we are: I drowned, mourned the loss of the 'perfect' body you always were It left me fragile, insecure. The pride and elegance I felt in who I was before, was shattered overnight. We fell hard together. I believe it was your way of telling me to slow down. I never heard your voice before - saying stop trying so hard, stop trying to be Superwoman, stop trying to achieve the impossible in 2 jobs, 3 small kids and a hectic lifestyle. But I never listened. I thought we were invincible. it was only then that I began to nurture you.
With a broken body, we had to build a new relationship together, we had to face the world with no hair, scars, a changed perception of our sexuality, but I now appreciate how lucky I am to have you and am leaning to accept the way you are with grey streaks, aging skin, and teeth that need attention.
Let us grow old together peacefully and I will try to listen intuitively to you always.
With love
June 2014